It’s Dutch election day, but my vote goes elsewhere: to the Uncle and Auntie Election. Not just the funny ones who make kids laugh, but the interesting, special ones who occupy that unique space in the family: connected by love, not by direct bloodlines.
A Language Without Cousins
In Dutch, we don’t distinguish cousins from nephews or nieces. One word — neef or nicht — does all the work. Whether they’re your sibling’s children or your cousin’s kids, it’s all the same. Maybe that’s why our family trees feel less structured, more like vines intertwining in all directions.
We also love making words smaller: meisje (little girl), huisje (little house), neefje (little nephew). We shrink words to bring them closer. But when everyone shares the same label, something else happens: hierarchy dissolves. You stop counting steps of distance and start counting memories.
The Special Kind of Uncle
One of my closest friends became an uncle years ago, and the pride on his face was unforgettable. He wasn’t the father, but he somehow felt like one, standing halfway between family and friend, observer and participant. That in-between space is where the magic lies.
I’ll never know what it’s like to see my own sibling become a parent since I am only child. But through my wife’s big family, I’ve come to love that uncle role: part mentor, part playmate, part wildcard. Especially for the children of non-siblings; nieces and nephews not by blood but by bond. It’s a role of beautiful ambiguity. It’s family chosen by heart, not genetics.
So today, as the Netherlands casts its ballots, I’m casting mine for all the uncles and aunties of the world, especially the ones who belong to children of non-siblings. The ones who blur the lines, who bring connection where the map says there should be distance. The funny ones, yes but also the fascinating, unexpected ones who remind us that family isn’t a category. It’s a feeling.
Because some elections aren’t about power; they’re about presence.
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